Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Why We Need to Ban Hershey Park on Chol Hamoed

Yesterday I went with some of my cousins to Hershey Park. Every year, during the Jewish holiday of Sukkot, Hershey Park is rented out for a day for the Jewish community. You have thousands of Jews from along the east coast in attendance. This is primarily a Haredi event, but you get people from across the spectrum coming. For me, it is worth it to go just to see who I might run into. I did run into a number of my students. (Now I know what they have been doing with their vacation time instead of studying.) Considering how successful and popular this event is I am shocked that, at least to the best of my knowledge, there has been no attempt to ban this event. At a loss to explain this lapse in judgment by radical Haredi vigilante activists, I have decided to help them out with some banning points of my own.

- It is not proper for men and women to share the same amusement park as this encourages mingling between the sexes. Instead, specific designated hours should be set up for men and women like in the supermarkets of all upstanding communities today.

- There is a danger that if a man and woman sit next to each other on a ride and the ride malfunctions, they might accidentally bump into each other.

- It is forbidden for women to ride on roller-coasters and bumper cars. These rides constitute a form of male behavior which women are forbidden to imitate. Waving your hands as you speed down a drop of multiple stories with the wind in your face and your stomach dropping from you is not something that the meek girls raised in our community should have any interest in. There is also a danger that a woman's skirt will fly up during the ride, posing a powerful temptation to any men on the ground with high powered cameras with telescopes. Bumper cars are a form of driving no different than a regular car. Since woman are forbidden to drive a male vehicle such as a car it behooves them not to even play at such a sin by driving toy cars. Women are allowed to ride the carousel and other rides for children if their children need them.

- Attendance at this park encourages women to dress in an immodest manner. (I discovered this with the help of the new Oz Vehadar Levusha application on my cell phone. It takes pictures of women and analyzes their clothing, giving out the relevant paragraphs of the book being violated.) These women serve as a stumbling block to the men who might look at them as well as the religious women who might think to sit down next to them on one of the park's benches.

- It is an absolute chilul Hashem (desecration of God's name) when Jewish children (obviously not from our community) are rude to the gentile workers in the park.

- It is an absolute chilul Hashem to see Jews being kind and in all ways too friendly with the gentile workers in the park.

- This is a park devoted to selling non chalov-yisroel (milk products not under rabbinic supervision) sweets, setting up a stumbling block for our children.

- This event causes men to engage bittul Torah (wasting time not engaged in religious studies).

- Going to this event causes proper Jews to be exposed to other Jews, even Jews who go to co-educational schools, and be influenced in their ways.

- Once we start allowing Jews to go to amusement parks they might be tempted to go these parks during the summer when it is not being rented out by Jews.

- Non-Jewish music like Avraham Fried was being played on the loudspeakers.

-There was a movie theater in operation and DVDs were being sold in front.

- And last but not least. This event is actually fun. The concept of fun does not exist in the Torah and therefore is absolutely forbidden.

Considering the Poe law, I suspect that before too long someone will come out with something along these lines and mean it with deadly seriousness.

(With help from the Nadoff family)


Unknown said...

betz u the best

The Bray of Fundie said...

I was there too...How come we didn't meet in person?

The Bray of Fundie said...

You left out several important points:

1. The carousel features wood incarnations of horses , beheimos temeios the sight of which is nearly as detrimental as their ingestion.

2. Said horses were painted brightly and in many colors. A clear threat to a black and white worldview.

3. "Carousel" is too alliterative of carousing.

4. Roller-coasters may encourage the kind of fear-conquest that leads inexoribly to real-life risk-taking. We wouldn't want anyone in our communities doing that now would we?

5. The whole site is a Temple to a Tayvaeh= an unbrideled lust- chocalate consumption, kind of like Pomegranite in Flatbush but lacking the latters redeeming variety.

6. Being in the heart of Dutch Amish country exposes our Shlomei Emunah to among the last community of X-tians that actually take their Avodah Zarah seriously. A well greased slippery slope could move the Heimish to the A(y)mish in the blink of an eye.

On a serious note I was not comfortable making a brokha in the Sukkah that they had constructed for the event. Too much "blowin'-in-the-wind". With the buckets of money the organizers profit you'd think that they could blow a few bucks for a firm-walled sukkah.

Izgad said...

Well I have a picture of myself in one of my usual baseball caps. I assume that you do not actually look anything like Robert De Niro from Raging Bull in real life. :p
Good additions to the list. Did you take the chocolate factory tour? They had recorded females singing and offered free Kit-Kats at the end. The horror of it.
I did not bother to eat in the Sukkah, mainly because of the cost of the food. I am a very frum cheap Jew.

The Bray of Fundie said...

meh..we brown-bagged it and brought along our own food. Of course I only ate things not requiring a sukkah. ARGHHHH.

The Bray of Fundie said...

I have a Chol HaMoed post up today

Miss S. said...

They had recorded females singing and offered free Kit-Kats at the end.

Kit-Kats are kosher and with kol isha is it still even assur if you have multiple voices and you don't know/have not seen the singer(s)?

I'm confused :-/

The Bray of Fundie said...


Izgad said...

Miss S.
We are dealing zealot logic here. Kit-kats are not cholov yisroel so “treif.” Haredim are not in the habit of distinguishing recorded females singing in a group with a single female singing live. The question is what is worse, a woman singing biblical verses or a man singing a Christian hymn?

The Bray of Fundie said...

pick your poison- do prefer gilui arayos or avodah zarah

Anonymous said...

Women screaming on a roller coaster is a form of קול אשה. This will arouse the men and lead them to inappropriate behavior with the opposite gender.

Anonymous said...

your a jackass

Anonymous said...

There's one thing you don't have to worry about...from what I experienced, there is no danger of anyone being "too nice" to anyone. Be satisfied that they are all exhibiting complete and utter rudeness to the Gentiles..

Anonymous said...

here! here!
let's party like it's 1699!

suggestion box:

kit kat made with matzah

Anonymous said...

DONT GO IF YOU DONT APPROVE OF IT!!! dont ruin it for others for your own selfish reasoning!

Anonymous said...

Is this for real? Or some kind of sarcastic, unfunny joke?

eallandoe said...

IS THERE ANY PURPOSE in your hateful and childish attacks on your fellow brothers and sisters.Do you really think your offensive comments will change their opinions.Do you truly feel your unfounded criticisms just might penetrate their resolute beliefs.Or are you just writing hoping others like yourself might join hands to laugh at your tastelessness;hoping,to find comrades with whom you can bask in the mire of your fraternal loathing

Unknown said...

This is a terrible terrible post, Bec I thought it was serious until scrolling to the bottom. I was about to right that the person behind the article should see a psychologist. I'm sure lots of people started reading the article, and thought, wow such crazy and extreme radical Jews, before they saw the end and saw it was a joke. In conclusion, YOU MUST WRITE IN BUG LETTERS IN FRONT/ON TOP, THAT THIS IS A JOKE. DONT TAKE SERIOUSLY.